4.5.12

What if the NBA assembles an Avengers team?

**Semi Spolier alert!**



I am one of the millions of fans who've seen the movie Avengers Assemble recently. To say the least, it was "smashing" box office records, and was just like an awegasmic wet-dream for every fanboy out there. Okay purist Marvel fans, you need to chill this one out. Who would've thought of making this film into a reality, (or more of into 3D?!) and actually coming out with a good job? We've had the appetizers from Marvel, dating back to 2 Iron Man films, 2 Hulk films, 1 from Thor then finally a Captain America flick. And now this whopper.

Yes, the plot maybe simple, not Oscar buzz worthy, and could be thought of by any young comic book fan: Loki, Thor's half-brother, seeks to obtain this powerful cube called the "Tesseract" from Earth, which is in possession of Nick Fury's team (S.H.I.E.L.D.), and he was successful. As Loki is planning to send his alien army to destroy and rule the planet, Nick Fury is desperate to form the most unlikely team of superheroes. "Like a time-bomb", as Bruce Banner/The Hulk has stated, this team is just as dysfunctional as any TV sitcom family could be. Until they find their differences "ironed" out (pun intended), then they will only find the way to win this gargantuan war.

The film managed to mesh in the characters slowly into the story, filled in with trademark Marvel-humour punchlines, and a whole lot of smashing and crashing. This film never failed to entertain.

***

Now, before I spoil any further, I just thought of the question "What if the NBA assemble an Avengers team?"

Let's see the possible candidates for the team, fulfilling the roles of the superheroes.

Iron Man: Lebron James

Rich. Cocky. Loves attention. Not-your-average-teammate team player. Loves to do things on his own. May not be as funny as Tony Stark, but he's that character you might have a love/hate relationship with. His Jarvis could be Chris Bosh for all we know.

Thor: Kevin Durant

God of Thunder? Duh, de facto. He has a long wingspan, that could make-up for his cape. He's not burly as the son of Odin, but when the booms and bangs are needed, he comes just right in time. What about his half-brother Loki? You think Russell Westbrook's plays and seemingly jealous ways won't fit that?

Captain America: Tim Duncan

Hey, a man out of time? I present you a 90's Duncan in 2012. Or could also fill in an 80's dude. Old school smarts, non-flashy plays... Wow, almost yawned there. But if you want effective leadership, call Timmy's number. He can be as cool as ice, but that man is almost immortal.

The Hulk: Amar'e Stoudemire



I'm not really sure if New York Knicks have a long queue for their anger management courses at the moment, but this dude really needs it. Down 0-2 versus the Heat, he apparently punched the Fire Extinguisher. Yes, even the fire extinguisher thought it was dumb. Amar'e, like the Hulk, could become a leader anytime, with this ability and strength but was reduced to a bit player. If Amar'e has a film like the Hulk now, it could be the one starred by Eric Bana.

Hawkeye: Dirk Nowitzki

Sharpshooter, check. Cold-blooded assassin, check. Under mind-control? Check. Dirk is showing un-Dirkly this playoffs. It might be his teammates, but the Mavs are just awful in whole. Just like the Hawkeye, you could just go on to the next round without his shots.

Nick Fury: Kobe Bryant

Shooting while injured is Kobe's daily routine. Break his arm, his leg, poke his eye, kick his balls, he doesn't give a damn and he will shoot the lights out. Smash mouth like a true leader, he doesn't even care if he's being coached by Michael Jordan. No, Black Mamba is not equals to Black Widow.

Agent Coulson: Derrick Rose

Nope, he doesn't have superpowers. (I'm referring to Agent Phil here, I know D-Rose have his own.) But he appeared in every movie, recruiting everyone, like the unsung MVP. Just like in the film, the MVP vanished out of the scenes after that nasty injury by D-Rose. Awful scene. Just not right.

Future villains: See Kevin Garnett, Kendrick Perkins, Ronny Turiaf, etc.

Any suggestions or reactions? So who are we voting for a Black Widow?

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